In a world where personal relationships are often defined by neediness and emotional dependence, psychologist and bestselling author Walter Riso one of the leading voices in cognitive therapy applied to emotions issues a powerful and liberating message: don’t beg for love. His teachings center on the importance of self love as the foundation of mental health and healthy relationships.

In his recent works and conferences, Riso explains that "begging for love" means accepting emotional scraps, tolerating mistreatment, or waiting for affection from someone who simply isn’t willing to give it. According to him, this pattern emerges when a person lacks solid self-esteem and fears being alone, which leads them to maintain toxic or one-sided relationships. “Love should not be begged for or negotiated. Love is given freely, or it’s not love,” says Riso (source: Walter Riso - Editorial Planeta, 2024).

From a clinical standpoint, multiple studies support this perspective. Research published in The Journal of Positive Psychology (2023) and Frontiers in Psychology (2024) confirms that self-acceptance and self-respect are closely linked to lower rates of anxiety and depression. Individuals with strong self-love are more likely to set healthy boundaries and avoid falling into emotionally dependent relationships.

Self-love, according to Riso, is not narcissism or selfishness, but rather the ability to recognize one’s own worth without needing external validation. It involves learning to say no, prioritizing personal well-being, and distancing oneself from people who do not bring peace. “If someone only loves you when you stop being yourself, then that’s not your place,” he states.

In an era of social media, fleeting relationships, and emotional instability, this message becomes even more urgent. Emotional well-being is not built on scarcity it comes from the conviction that you deserve the best.

In Riso’s own words: “Self-love doesn’t make you hard to love it makes you someone who no longer accepts less than what they deserve.”