How to survive “Y El Novio?” season, according to motivational speaker María Marin
Intrusive questions from tías can ruin the holidays, here’s how to get past them.
As the holidays approach, many Latinx singles begin to fear the questions their relatives will ask about their love life, or lack thereof. AL DIA sat down with Puerto Rican motivational speaker and author, María Marin, to get advice on how to survive the season and where to find love.
Marin has written books about personal growth and women’s empowerment. Her best seller is called If I’m So Wonderful, How Come I’m Single?
When she dove into social media, her career exploded. Her Facebook currently has 8 million followers and she has amassed 10 million followers across Twitter, Instagram and Youtube. All her content is dedicated to make people “feel better about themselves and to have confidence.”
She believes that confidence is the key ingredient to success, not only in your personal life, but also in your love life.
“If you see any of my videos, you’re supposed to feel energized and more confident,” said Marin.
She is currently working with Chispa, which she loves because most of her audience is women, and a large majority of them are looking for love.
“One of the reasons why women connect with me is because I'm always giving them advice about how to attract the right men in their lives,” said Marin.
Chispa released a survey showing that 81% of singles feel more comfortable during the holidays when they’re in a relationship.
“It's obvious that we all love to be in a relationship, but especially during the holidays for single people, it's a lot of stress because, you know, you're going to have celebrations this year. And the questions that single people fear the most are ‘are you still single?” and “you don’t have a boyfriend? Pobrecito!’” she said.
Marin suggests that singles can respond to these intrusive and uncomfortable questions by shifting the focus of the conversation to something positive, like accomplishments or lifestyle improvements.
She suggests bypassing the question by explaining how busy you’ve been, and then bringing up a different topic, like furthering your education, the new house or car you just bought, the promotion you’re about to get, etc.
“We all have good accomplishments or something that we’re proud of to change the focus,” said Marin. “What is your tía going to do? Start asking you about a man when you’re telling her about an accomplishment? So that always works.”
When it comes to finding love, Marin encourages people to be proactive and realize that love isn’t going to come and knock on your door; you have to go out and find it.
For Latinas, she plugged Chispa.
“It’s a great opportunity to get together with people that you’re going to have a lot in common with even before you really get to know them,” said Marin.
Chispa’s survey also showed that 80% of Latinx parents are now comfortable with the idea of their son or daughter meeting a significant other online, so for her, it’s a perfect time to give it a try.