It is not an exaggeration to say that Philadelphia is freaking out about Pope Francis’ visit at the end of September, and the anticipated 1 to 2 million people that will follow him here. Transit meltdowns! Security perimeters! Pregnant women! No food! No water! No bathrooms! A suburban township has preemptively declared a state of emergency.

It’s a bit like weather people on TV forecasting a massive storm and watching as grocery store shelves empty out of milk and bread while retailers hike the price of generators. Sure, it could be hurricane Sandy ... but nine times out of 10 it isn’t.

You have to wonder if it was like this in Rio de Janeiro, where Pope Francis celebrated a Mass for 3 million on Copacabana beach. Or in Manila, where 6 million gathered for his outdoor Mass ... at the tail end of a typhoon. 

We’re pretty sure there were all manner of logistical inconveniences and problems attached to those events, too, but they were successes anyway. This is a Latin American pope, after all, accustomed to the lively chaos of World Cup soccer matches and Argentina’s ferias, and while he may now live in the serene cloister of the Vatican, as a young priest he was most at home ministering in the “villas” (slums) of Buenos Aires.   

As a pope, he is also indescribably fond of going off-script and of foiling the best attempts to keep him at arm’s length from the people — so no game plan, no matter how hermetic or uptight, is going to come off without a hitch anyway.

So, Philadelphia, relax. You’re not driving this bus — the Secret Service and the United States Conference of Bishops and World Meeting of Families and Vatican protocols are.

We know you’d prefer if it were a luxury charter, running non-stop on well-paved roads with no traffic. It’s not. This bus makes lots of stops so people can come and go, and it’s noisy and colorful and crowded. The road it’s traversing seems to have a good number of potholes and some hairpin curves with poor visibility (which is clearly why it has Jesus on the dashboard and the Blessed Mother on the rearview). And we’ve already hit traffic.

It’s time to embrace your inner Latino, Philadelphia, and realize this ain’t no Greyhound but a Chiva that’s taking us to the party.

There’s music playing.

The Pope’s visit has already made it onto one playlist (scroll all the way to the bottom), but if something more reverent is your cup of maté, the 500-member Philadelphia 2015 papal choir (which includes the Archdiocesan Children’s and High School choirs) is already rehearsing and performing “The Spirit of the Lord” by Philip Stopford, which was first performed here by the choir of the Cathedral Basilica Sept. 16, 2011. 

And there’s always “A Dios Le Pido” by Colombian superstar Juanes, and “Quizas, Quizas, Quizas” by Andrea Bocelli, who will both be sharing the stage with Pope Francis at the Festival of Families. Personally, we think “Maybe, Maybe, Maybe” is a pretty good response to all of those alarmist papal visit rumors that have been circulating. 

The bus is going to get noisy with more voices and more languages.

The World Meeting of Families will be the first stop en route to the Pope, and we know folks from around the U.S., Vietnam, Canada, Colombia, Nigeria, Mexico, Pakistan, Dominican Republic and the Democratic Republic of Congo are all getting onboard. And that’s all before we get to the Papal weekend.

Like in a real Chiva bus where everyone is sitting cheek to jowl and in each other’s biz, this influx of people from all over means we will be able experience what it’s like to be a real global destination. Someday that’ll be old hat to us. But that day is not today.

There is food onboard.

The Potbelly already has an official (and officially sanctioned) #PopeinPhilly milkshake, but you know there’s a lot of unsanctioned Pope-in-Philly stuff going on too. McGillin’s Olde Ale House has renamed its fare (Pope-tinis, Good Shepherd’s Pie, Pope Frites and Loaves & Fishes) to serve during the week of the World Meeting of Families and papal weekend. Food trucks are undoubtedly being permitted even as we type this out.

It’s colorful.

There’s a mural in the offing. The paint’s already flowing. And, thank God, there is nothing subdued or bashful about it. 

Philadelphia is at its best when its vivid and bold and too delighted to panic.