The Olympics are no fashion contest, which is good because we would all lose. Here are the worst eyesores for the Sochi 2014 Olympics plus what we believe to be the uniforms' inspirations.

7th: Latvia

Latvian uniforms may have been inspired by Randy from "A Christmas Story."

6th: Norway

Norway's curling team went disco for the Sochi winter olympics.

5th: Czech Republic

Probably inspired by spirit wolf playing cards, Czech's uniforms are both warm and confusing.

4th: Germany  

Germany just missed a medal, but still deserves recognition for the sensory experience that their uniforms provoke. Willy Bogner may have dreamt (in color) about a Lisa Frank toddler ring stack before designing this outfit.

Bronze: U.S.A.

Team U.S.A. may dissatisfied with a third place win, but this years' competition was tough. Ralph Lauren may have been inspired by the recent popularity of ugly holiday sweater parties when he designed this uniform. 

Silver: Russia

The organizers for Russia's Sochi Olympics will be decked out in this colorful display, complete with rainbow gloves. The uniform may have been partly inspired by the aesthetic of "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" and really the 90s in general.  

As a bonus, here's Vladimir Putin in the uniform, which looks nothing like a rainbow flag, of course. 

Gold: Mexico

Absolutely no one can top spandex mariachi. The inspiration for this Mexican alpine skier has to be tuxedo t-shirts.