A romantic love story is always there in a Latino house. A brave and lonely love or a sad and eternal tale from one of our Abuelos that sit under the sun to remember the love that once was and the one that never had the chance to be.

Stories of love campaigns, long trips in boats, in mules, through mountains and crossing entire countries, have allowed us to inherit the valuable love crusade as a strategy and fuel in life.

But this seems to be part now of a romantic Paleolithic that has nothing to do with modern life, and much less with the daily life of young people (Millenials, Baby Boomers, call them as you wish). Two and a half generations whose teenager awakening matched the early rising of the first instant messaging systems through the noisy dial-up that allowed us to enter a under construction dimension.

From then on, everything developed in a dizzying steep: MySpace, Hi5, Facebook, Badoo, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat, Skype, FaceTime… means of simulated simultaneity that permitted time, space and anonymity to built an identity: behind a screen you can be anyone you like.

This fact was a treasure for the digital apps developers: what would happen if, through a customized profile, you could choose potential partners the same way we choose our detergent in the supermarket?

Since the first chat rooms to the geolocation apps, it seems that nowadays love is too an object of consumption.

When texting someone in code for hours at a time, you might not even know what the person sounds like or if they have a good or bad personality until you both eventually meet face to face somewhere…or on FaceTime.

You can tweet, poke, and text someone while checking their profile and tagging their photos. By the time you have done all those things, you have made a personal judgment of the individual before even saying hello.

Has technology made the younger generation more innovative or has it dumbed them down to a point that their emotions are no different than the app or cell phone they use? Our obsession with technology has created a concept that has totally changed the way people date and form new relationships.

Playing hard to get these days is pretty much close to impossible. We are connected to so many apps you can’t use the excuse that “I was too busy to call” or “I didn’t get a chance to reply to your message” when you’re on Facebook and Twitter at the same time. At the speed in which we can communicate with people, “the thrill of the chase” has altered the art of romance in a certain way.

A study done in 2015 found that cellphone obsession is hurting relationships and even making people depressed. Baylor University's Hankamer School of Business in Texas wanted to see the effects that "phubbing," or phone snubbing, had on relationships.

Whether it's interrupting conversation to check your phone or taking a quick look when you think your partner's not watching, researchers found this habit has some negative outcomes. Those distractions no matter how brief, left the partner feeling unsatisfied with the relationship.

Co-author of the study, Professor James A. Roberts said that low levels of relationship satisfaction led to low levels in life satisfaction and eventually, high levels of depression.

Christian Licoppe, Laurent Camus and Julien Morel in the Télécom Paristech in France carry out another ongoing research. The researches are analyzing the transformation of daily routines, rhythms and sociological conditions through the use of geolocation apps.

The French researchers have determined that, even though the apps arose as an alternative for LGBT communities to relate and gather around in a society where discrimination is current, the evolution towards other markets (like the heterosexual and the “swinger”) have allowed the growth of platforms like Tinder, Happen and Badoo, that have shown a modification in routes and behaviors in the quest for “likes”, a gesture that triggers the dopamine secretion (the hormone of pleasure), generating an even addictive condition.

Currently, the digital platforms have allowed a digital space to communities whose needs in real time and space have been clouded by work routines, social introversion facing certain tendencies or simply the comfort of texting from the convenience of your living room, without changing our pajamas.    

Recently married millennials, Fabian and Juliana Valenzuela, see technology ad both a blessing and a curse.  “In the beginning I wasn’t used to texting over taking to someone,” said Fabian, “I was more used to talking to someone over the phone rather than texting.”

Back in Colombia in the late 90’s, the norms of communication was using the telephone or going after class on the computer and using Windows Live Messenger. Valenzuela feels that many people prefer to text rather than write a letter. He also feels that texting can be a new evolution of being romantic.

His wife agreed that the only means of communication at that time in Bogota was Windows Messenger and even My Space. They both feel that the birth of Facebook really catapulted social media to its popularity right now.

Juliana feels that one of the drawbacks of Facebook is that people will have photos for everyone to see, but this can cause others to only judge the person by what they see online. “Some people will show all these pictures to their friends and to the world and show how happy they are, but really inside they feel the opposite.” said Valenzuela.

One problem that has developed is people who are truly looking for love but instead are lured into a world of criminal activity. “I worked in the Anti-Kidnapping/Anti Extorsion Department in Colombia and there were some men who were only online to extort money from families”, Juliana continued “These men would persuade girls to send graphic photos of themselves to only be threatened that the photos will be published in Facebook unless they are paid a ransom”.

Both Fabian and Juliana feel that the survey about phubbing is a problem that can ruin relationships before they can even start. “When we go out to a restaurant and we place our orders, we can talk, text, or look at something online but when the food arrives, we put our phones on the table and eat.” said Fabian.

For Juliana is a matter of respecting the other person you are with when you are on a date or even with a group of friends. “It is rude to look at your cell phone when you are in someone’s company. In that moment you are trying to get to know someone but it’s like you’re competing with a smartphone for attention.  In Colombia, my friends and me would go out to eat at a restaurant; we put our phones in a basket. Whoever grabs their cell phone first pays the bill.”

In comparison to how romance was and is now, Juliana prefers how romance used to be. “In the past people can share more of who they are without their cell phones,” she said, “Romance was much lovelier back then when you would get roses, candy, when you can just interact with a person one on one.” 

Fabian likes how the art of romance is now compared to the past. “You can do something just as spectacular using technology. I’m not good at writing letters…they suck! It would be like me writing a doctor’s prescription for a patient.” Just when you thought that Juliana got her point across to Fabian, then came his last words.

Juliana: “All you have to do is write about your feelings inside”

Fabian: “That why I use technology.” “I can do exactly the same thing with technology to make it look nice.”

Juliana: “OK, don’t write a letter and just say what you feel just using your voice and not the cell phone.”

Fabian: “OK, I’ll send you a voicemail.”